


Sweet Dreams

by YourShadow



Series: Let Me See You Stripped Down To The Bone [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Khirk, M/M, Master!Khan and Pet!Kirk, Master/Pet, Not A Happy Ending, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Slavery, Teeth, Tentacle Rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-24
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-13 14:13:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1229452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourShadow/pseuds/YourShadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based around the song and another dream I had. Kirk ends up a slave in a mission gone wrong and reaches out to the one person he should avoid at all possible costs: Khan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Are Made of This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I just…no. I claim no ownership of any of this. Song is originally by the Eurythmics.
> 
> Warnings: EVERYTHING OKAY. Rape/non-con, abuse (physical, sexual, mental), slavery. Tentacles, teeth. Khan being…Khan. Swearing/foul language. I don’t believe in happy endings.
> 
> For viewing pleasure, listen to this nifty playlist I made just for this fic/pairing/relationship: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMlrZzlkIB9OpgbYXVfiKtV_fVqzI7O3r. So I told myself not to write this and here I am writing this. Dreams, I swear…

_Sweet dreams are made of this…_  

Kirk woke up in a room flooded with light. He was forced in the center and felt uncomfortably exposed, probably due to his lack of clothing except for a small loincloth. His eyes tried to focus as the rest of his senses registered his surroundings. He knew the mission went wrong, horribly wrong…but to what extent?

He heard words being spoken in a foreign tongue and really wished Uhura was there to translate, or that he at least had taken the time to learn some different languages while given the chance at the Academy. Now it was probably too late. However, the message seemed clear enough once he was able to get a good look around. Other humans were in a similar state around him, with the dominant alien species hovering near them like guards. At least he knew he was on the right planet, so the mission wasn’t too far off. Looking at his fellow race, staring into their hopeless, broken eyes, Captain Kirk knew exactly what he landed himself into.

The slave trade.

He was currently being held on exhibit, as far as he could tell, in a circular room—a cage—where other species stood behind the tinted glass to look at him. They observed him, remarking to themselves, and continued walking around to other exhibits. He watched them carefully, already thinking of a plan of escape.

He was pulled up and roughly shoved away, the exhibition apparently over. Struggling, he dimly realized his hands were bound behind his back. His legs were stiff and weak, but walked when he commanded them to. Made to join a line of other humans who were all dressed similarly, Kirk took the opportunity to look around. There was a large crowd of multiple alien species wandering around the room they were held in, the noise too loud to distinguish one language from the other. He saw creatures he never dreamed of, and others only seen in nightmares. A few looked passable as humanoid, but the rest were clearly of an entirely other nature.

_Who am I to disagree…_

As he scanned the crowd, he noticed one such humanoid who appeared female, though not one he’d ever seen before. She was attractive, at least, and smiled at him once their eyes met. He allowed a tentative smile back. She began to approach, and he thought maybe he would finally catch a break and figure out what was happening here.

“Careful, she’s not what she appears.” A soft voice whispered at his side.

He jerked slightly, turning to look at the woman who spoke. It took a moment, but recognition lit up his features. “Hey, Ambassador Riley, it’s you.” He breathed. She was disheveled and seemed older, but it was definitely her.

She looked at him, assessing his features, wondering how he knew her. “It’s been a while since I was addressed that way. Who are you?”

“Captain James Tiberius Kirk, ma’am, of the starship _Enterprise_. I came here to rescue you and the others who went missing.”

She snorted, a forlorn and slightly sardonic sound. “And look where it got you.”

“Look, I’m sure my crew will find a way out of this, so don’t worry.” He tried reassuring her.

“Kid, I’ve been stuck on this godforsaken shithole of a planet for years—I’ve lost count, who knows how many it’s been now—and you think you can swoop in and save me? The ‘others’ are already gone, Captain. I’m the only one left, and trust me…escape is impossible.”

Kirk didn’t want to believe what she was saying, but he knew the truth when he heard it. She didn’t put up any front or try to sugarcoat the issue. Instead he glanced around again, taking a gulp of air. The female was closer now, but made no move to approach other than to smile and wave her fingers at him.

“So tell me what’s going on here then. How did Starfleet not know about this place?”

“Because every time they tried to figure it out, people like me ended up right in the middle of it, never to be heard from again. Our original mission was to investigate this planet and seek a mutual alliance, as with most missions, but we were wholly unprepared for what happened.” She began. He nodded for her to continue. “It’s a slave trade, a Black Market of sorts. The dominant species of this planet harvest solely humans to be sold off as pets to other alien species. It’s not an easy life.”

Through the scars and bruises marring her skin, he knew what she meant. “So there’s nothing we can do? No escape? No contact to warn others who may come after us?”

She shook her head. “Sorry. If they sent you to rescue me and you ended up in the same position, that’s how everyone else will be.”

“And when you said the others were ‘gone’ what did you mean?”

She looked him dead in the eye. “Exactly what I said, kid. They tried to escape. Now they’re gone.”

He focused on his breathing, unable to process his situation just yet. “What…what exactly is going to happen to me? What do they do to the…pets?”

“Anything and everything. It depends on who you get sold to. Mostly it’s a form of slavery, with pets performing household tasks or providing pleasure to their owners.” She replied. “Take that one over there, the female you were eyeing.” She gestured toward the humanoid with a jerk of her head. “Her species may look harmless enough, but they’re known for their teeth.”

“Teeth?”

“In their genitals. They’re the equivalent of a black widow spider or praying mantis on Earth because they like to eat their mates whole after having sex.”

He coughed, looking back and forth between the two. “You’re serious?” his voice took on a higher pitch and he cleared it, attempting to regain his composure. He had to focus on finding an escape.

 _I travel the world and the seven seas…_  

“It’s a short life for one of her pets, but it looks like she’s set her sights on you. Sorry.”

He gulped again, flashbacks of one-night stands flitting across his vision. For his life to end in such a way would be a waste and he knew it. “Alright, what’s the process here, do you know?” he asked to keep from panicking.

“Well, you were just put on display so the potential buyers could get a look at you. They’ll take you into the auction house where they’ll bid after having some time for a meet and greet.”

“Meet and greet?” he echoed.

“Yeah, a chance to sample the merchandise before buying. They’ll put each individual in a room and have potentials spend a few minutes alone with them, nothing too serious, just an up-close and personal look for consideration.”

The way she talked about the process unnerved him, so clinical and precise, as if all emotion was detached. He observed her for a longer period than before, realizing what she must have went through to make her this way. She caught his stare with a blank look.

“I’m going to get out of this, and when I do, I’m taking you with me and as many others as I possibly can. We’ll tell Starfleet about this, send in the troops if we must, to rescue all these other people and stop this from happening. I promise.”

Her expression softened, giving him a sad smile. “Oh Captain, I wouldn’t be able to go back even if you could find a way to escape. I can’t function in a normal society anymore. This is my life now. You understand, right? I can’t go back.”

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to, it was because her life was so altered at this point based on what she went through it would be hell to face all those people she once knew. He saw it in her eyes and instantly grasped what she meant. When she said there was no escape, she meant it. Even if you left, the horrors of this place would remain. How could anyone face your old friends, even family members, after experiencing life’s greatest tragedies?

He nodded in understanding, unable to like his acceptance of her position but too intelligent to mock her pain with false hopes and naïve disbelief. The grim reality was staring him in the face. How long would it take him to turn out like her? After all, she and the rest of her crew went missing only three years ago.

 _Everybody’s looking for something…_  

He sighed and realized they were getting close to the end of the line, nearing the auction house as she called it. He briefly wondered if he should ask why she was going through the process again if she had been here for so long, then thought better of it. He didn’t want to know the answer after all. Instead he went back to some of the burning questions he had in mind ever since he woke up.

“So why humans?”

“We’re seen as inferior, cattle to be put to use for greater purposes than our own conception. Pets, essentially, hence the preferred title.” She answered in a monotone.

A shiver went down his spine as Kirk was reminded of another being whom considered humans as filth beneath his very boots. Khan Noonien Singh was a hassle before the start of his five-year mission, and it was only a year into it. The memories of his short awakening were still too fresh for Kirk.

So fresh, in fact, he thought he caught a glimpse of a black coat swishing nearby, disappearing into the crowd. He froze, searching for the source. A guard nudged him forward and he lost sight of the movement, being carried by the crowd into the room. They were allowed a bit more freedom in here, not compressed but spread out. There were only a few rooms for more intimate inspection of the goods. The way he saw it, the slaves would be rotated from the larger crowd to the smaller rooms, allowing both a small and large view of them by onlookers. He scanned the room after being separated from his newfound friend, wondering if he would ever see her again.

That’s when he saw what he thought—but knew otherwise—he saw earlier. It was impossible, but standing right in front of him nonetheless. Khan was there, looking at him with those same piercing eyes as before. His hair was still slicked back, clothes dark and clinging to his skin, stance predatory. He seemed to fit right in with the rest of the slavers. Kirk’s heart thudded behind his chest, both astonished and slightly relieved to see his old enemy in this unfamiliar place. He caught himself walking toward him, hesitant yet curious.

 _Some of them want to use you…_  

“Captain Kirk, what a surprise to see you here.” Khan’s voice rumbled in greeting as he approached.

“I could say the same about you.” Kirk replied in a low tone, old anger flaring up deep inside him. “How the hell did you escape?”

Khan shook his head slowly, “Tsk, tsk, dear Jim, there’s no room for talk like that here. You’re not a Captain anymore either, or has your lack of a uniform not properly registered in your feeble mind yet? I was simply renewing an old rivalry when I greeted you, but those formalities are no longer necessary.”

“Why do I get the feeling you had a hand in this.” Kirk said through clenched teeth. He felt himself relaxing, despite the danger this man posed. Somehow, it was all safer compared to the unknown. Khan he could wrap his mind around and understand, predict his motives and untrustworthiness, something he _knew_.

Khan smirked. “I have to admit I really appreciate the idea of humans made into subservient, domesticated animals for the pleasure of others.”

“And how did you escape their clutches, exactly?”

“Simple, Jim. I’m not human. They know this. In fact they’ve heard of me, even…helped me. They granted me a place here with them and I am quite content in my position.”

Kirk sighed, the familiar banter and presence alarmingly comfortable. Khan’s eyes narrowed. He knew that expression, it was the face of a man with nothing else to lose and everything to beg for. “Look, I know we’re not exactly friends or even remotely allies, but I need to ask you a favor.”

 _Some of them want to get used by you…_  

Khan’s head tilted to the side.

Kirk couldn’t quite form the right words to say, opening and closing his mouth, swallowing every sentence and reworking it in his head. He didn’t even know what he was asking and began contemplating his sanity.

“You, come.” A gruff voice commanded in a thick accent around the English words. Kirk was being dragged into one of the smaller rooms. He glanced back at Khan with a frightened look before shaking his head to clear it. “Stay.” He was commanded and shoved inside, the door closing behind him.

He was breathing heavily, the panic beginning to rise. Was he really just about to ask Khan…?

“Hey there, beautiful.” A silky voice made his head snap up to see the female from before, the one the ambassador referred to as a black widow. His eyes glanced down her form before he had a chance to stop himself, looking for the teeth he was told about.

He didn’t trust his voice, so simply nodded to her. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad…

“You _are_ beautiful, especially up close.” And close she got, moving in on him to peer at his face. She began walking around him as she continued. “I might have to save you for a long meal over time, assuming you can even last that long. Such a delicious feast you’ll make.”

The panic was coming back as he understood her intentions. He wondered if she would eat him now and forgo the formalities of buying him.

“I can taste your fear in the air. So sweet.” She came back around to look at him. “Hmmm, you might just be worth it.” She grinned, showing a set of pearly whites edged and pointed. He briefly wondered if her other set of teeth were the same. “Too scared to speak, beautiful?” she asked after a moment with a little smile.

He was aware of the role reversal, remembering all the times he used that word to pick up chicks in bars, but didn’t focus on it for too long. “Just a bit shell-shocked, is all.” He eventually replied. “Did you say something about eating me?” he squeaked slightly, unable to hold back.

She laughed, setting his nerves on edge. She took a few steps closer until they were inches apart and licked her lips. Entranced and unable to move, he watched as her mouth hovered over his.

“Time!” the guard shrieked from the doorway, making Kirk jump back, throat clenching around a scream.

She smiled at him again as she left, smoothly walking out of the door and past the guard. He let himself take a deep breath to steady himself before the next one came in. He heard the door open and hoped, unreasonably, for Khan to be there. Instead a large, green-ish, tentacled _thing_ entered.

 _Some of them want to abuse you…_  

Kirk gasped and stumbled back, tripping into a chair as the creature moved forward, gurgling something in an unknown language. The tentacles entangled themselves around him instantly, sliding around him, gripping, reaching, the suckers pulling at his skin. He wanted to scream but barely had enough breath, throat clogged with fear. He felt the slick, slimy appendages intrude upon every part of his body, unable to move because of their vice-grip.

He would definitely prefer Teeth over this thing any day. Even Khan would be a better substitute. At least he was handsome.

Kirk’s eyes widened at the thought. There was no way he was going to entertain that idea, nor venture down that path. Even with this alien probing him, becoming _anyone’s_ slave willingly was preposterous to consider. Even though he had a reputation for his sexual appetite, he was still a Starfleet Captain who had enough respect for himself to reign his instincts in at the proper time and place.

The creature continued to gurgle, perhaps attempting to get a response from him. Kirk shook his head feebly, trying to communicate his bewilderment at the situation. Some of the tentacles disappeared from around his body and he could breathe easier. A small one dug around in the creature’s clothing and brought out a device.

“Is this effective means of communication?” a robotic voice asked him after the device was fiddled with for a bit.

Kirk stared, dumbstruck, until eventually nodding his head.

“You appear in proper working order, healthy, able to serve my purposes.” The robotic voice added.

Kirk gulped. “Which is…what exactly?”

“I will teach you manners, domesticate you, then use you for my will. Do not speak unless commanded to.”

“Wow…look, this is all new to me and—,” he didn’t get much farther in his speech before tentacles were wrapping around him and squeezing hard.

“Do not speak unless commanded to.” The robotic voice repeated.

Kirk was gasping but managed to nod in an approving manner, because soon he was released. Hesitant now, he stared open-mouthed at the thing for more instructions as he gasped for breath. The creature tilted its head and also moved forward close to his face. He nearly fainted at the sight of more tiny tentacles where the mouth should have been wiggling at him.

“Yes, your body can be used in many ways for my entertainment as well as for sufficient labor.”

Kirk didn’t like the sound of that. Not with those beady eyes staring into his and the lack of emotion behind the words.

“Time!” the guard yelled again. The creature backed up, then turned to leave as well.

Kirk fell back into the chair slowly, eyes wide, face pale as the full weight of his predicament fell on him. He didn’t even notice his latest visitor until a pair of black boots entered his vision. Looking up, Khan loomed over him. Kirk’s mouth fell open but no words came out just yet.

“Well, considering what’s out there, you could get worse than those two.” The superior being murmured, eyebrows quirking upward.

“Khan you have to help me!” Kirk burst, the words coming out in a rush, too fast to stop them. “I can’t be the slave of that thing, and she said she was gonna eat me! _Please_ Khan, you have to be the one to buy me!” He couldn’t believe what he was saying. His mouth snapped shut and he looked away, jaw clenching and knuckles turning white as he gripped the chair. Apparently, Khan didn’t believe it either.

“You want me to buy you.”

“Look, we can make an agreement. I know you want revenge, and I get it. Beat me up all you want, kill me when you’re done, but for the love of god don’t let those things touch me.” there was a pleading edge to his voice Kirk didn’t like. He was too vulnerable to be having this conversation with Khan, emotions too raw and uncontained for him to keep it all together. He knew the other man sensed it, relished in it.

“Oh Captain.” The man purred, locking eyes. “You don’t want that. I can assure you my intentions are _far worse_ than those others.”

Kirk swallowed again, eyes wide as they were held by Khan’s. “But at least I know you.” He said, voice weak and already sounding defeated.

“Yes, you do, and that’s the very reason why becoming my pet should be your last resort, not even an option.” He leaned down, getting close. Kirk moved back against the chair, feeling trapped. “Because you have no idea what exactly I’ll do to you if given the chance.” He growled through clenched teeth.

Kirk was breathing heavily again, heart racing, mind screaming at him. He knew Khan was being truthful, he knew it should be the last thing on his mind, but for some reason he didn’t care. A part of him preferred a known enemy, a dangerous and volatile being whose strengths he knew all too well, than the creatures standing right outside the door, waiting to tear him apart. He couldn’t stop himself from rationalizing his choice of Khan by appointing him the lesser of evils.

In reality, he knew Khan was the worst possible person to own him, because it would be so easy for him to break under those cold, calculating eyes.

 _Some of them want to be abused…_  

Khan’s fingers began tracing the marks left by the tentacles as they were wrapped around him, and Kirk twitched at the movement. His skin tingled at the touch, eyes pleading. He could tell it was a sight Khan was happy to see by the way his lips curled upward.

“I admit the offer is tempting…”

“Do this for me, and I’ll help you get your crew back.”

The proposal hung in the air, weighing him down. Khan observed him, expression serious and almost serpentine. Dangling that like a piece of bait was a bad idea if he had no intention of delivering. “How do you know I don’t already have plans for their rescue? What makes you think I don’t already have them here with me? I’m working with this species for a reason, surely you can imagine the results.”

“Then I won’t tell Starfleet about you. I’ll pretend I never saw you.”

“There’s nothing you can give me that I don’t already have, Kirk. Starfleet doesn’t even know this place exists, let alone that I’m involved behind the scenes. Besides, you won’t be able to contact Starfleet ever again.”

“If you help me escape I will.”

“And why would I help you?” Khan moved closer, voice low and seething.

“Because you want me.” Kirk took another breath and swallowed. “Because I’ll just walk away when it’s over, never bother you again. Just help me.” His voice cracked but he didn’t look away.

They stared each other down for a few moments, neither flinching as the guard opened the door and called, in a calmer and more respectful tone, the time. Khan remained locked in position, with Kirk refusing to back down, before slowly extracting himself and moving backward to stand. Kirk gripped the armrest and leaned forward, hopeful.

“I’ll think about it.” He received in reply. Before he could say anything more to convince him, Khan was gone. Kirk was left alone in the room, thinking about what he just did.

He didn’t have much time to contemplate his actions before the guard came back in to retrieve him. His mind was blank, stare empty as he was hauled onto a stage area with a few other human slaves. He glanced at each of them, trying to focus on them to dismiss his own anguish. If he could make himself feel selfless, he could find a way out of here. He was a better man when he had other people to worry about. When he only considered his own situation, selfish and greedy for life, he became a monster.

The auctioneer began speaking fast, pointing to the first person lined up on the stage. She was panicking, head swiveling around as she tried to understand what was about to happen to her. An audience gathered, all staring up at them. Kirk’s skin crawled with their eyes on him, limbs twitching as he wanted desperately to run. He contemplated fighting his way out, measuring up the guards, but it was made clear no form of escape was tolerated. Some of the guards held objects in their hands which resembled batons, clearly weapons, that at times gave off sparks of electricity. He gulped.

Members of the crowd began calling back to the auctioneer, clearly betting on the poor girl. She shrieked as the energy in the room heightened, the fast-paced action overwhelming. Kirk tried to keep up, knowing his turn would come soon. He barely understood when a new species offered a bet or raised it, unable to read the crowd. Instead he tried to look for Khan, hoping their little heart-to-heart made an impression on him. Kirk kept telling himself he could handle Khan, find a way of escape through him, and would be better off in the superior being’s power.

The auction ended with a loud bang and the woman struggled as she was dragged off the stage and to the side, where a large insect-type alien awaited her. He held himself back from trying to bolt, her fear mixing with his own, the tension in the air making it hard to breathe. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins, the fight or flight response activating, but he could do neither, helpless.

One human couldn’t contain himself and dashed way, but was surrounded by guards who began beating him to a pulp and jabbing at him with their electric sticks until he was beyond human, flesh seared, bleeding, and torn. They carried his body to the side and entered a room. Kirk refused to look away as he saw gaping jaws open wide, teeth bared as the mouth of a beast was exposed and the rebellious human thrown inside. The crunching sound of flesh and bone being chewed by the jaw was sickening, as well as the blood and drool dripping from the sides of the creature’s mouth.

Kirk wanted to puke. He turned back to the audience and his eyes finally found Khan, whose stare bore straight into his soul. They remained that way through the next auction. Kirk imagined a silent conversation passing between him, mostly with him pleading for Khan to save him, to spare him from this monstrosity. He would take a fight between the _Vengeance_ and _Enterprise_ , Khan’s seething hatred and rage over his crew in those torpedoes being targeted at him, the brutality he used when maiming and murdering the enemy over this situation any day. Any of that was Heaven compared to this sure Hell.

It was finally his turn and he was pushed slightly forward, close to the auctioneer. They exchanged a look before the alien began his round. His head snapped from left to right as creatures began calling back, trying to focus in order to determine who would eventually win him. Teeth was determined, almost always out betting the others. Tentacles was also adamant, sending her glares from across the audience. His eyes darted to Khan, growing fearful and widening in shock. He wouldn’t give up this opportunity, would he? Kirk was practically handing himself over on a silver platter, so why not snap him up?

Eventually Khan uttered a response, which garnered some attention from the crowd. There was a small pause before Tentacles shouted out another response. Teeth huffed, glaring at them both, and yelled out again. Others dropped out, shaking their heads and glancing at Khan. Kirk didn’t realize how high up in the chain of command Khan was to deserve such deference. The three of them called out a few more times until eventually Teeth gave up, sighing and pouting, looking at Kirk hungrily. Tentacles wouldn’t back down, even after Khan turned to look at him (or it, Kirk still was unsure about the proper gender, if that alien species even had one).

After the latest call Khan turned back to look at him. Kirk’s eyes bulged, a whimper stuck inside his throat as his body went rigid. A slight movement of his head made the former Captain’s knees weak. The auctioneer chattered about something, eliciting an eruption from the crowd, and he was being dragged offstage as well, eyes still locked on Khan, missing the small smile curling his lips. Then he focused on the floor, trying to remember how to breathe. Tentacles approached, appearing smug even though the expression was hard to notice with all the tentacles on his face. Kirk’s handcuffs were taken off and replaced with a binding device Tentacles supplied and he was being led away.

Feeling cold, stiff, Kirk finally understood the lesson Khan was trying to teach him all along. He finally knew what it was like to be betrayed by someone you put your whole trust in, a foolish mistake he would _never_ repeat again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: I wanted this to be a one-shot, but it doesn’t look possible right now. Don’t expect a long piece though. This wasn’t even supposed to happen, let alone continue. I blame the wonderful ideas this fandom keeps giving me. For a more crack approach, look out for another Star Trek fic entitled “Make Love Not War” I’m working on. If this song didn’t magically appear on Tumblr, this would still be just a sweet dream…


	2. Use and Abuse You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Yeah I still definitely don’t own any part of the Star Trek series. The lyrics for this chapter were actually taken from the Emily Browning and Marilyn Manson covers.
> 
> Warnings: Same as before. If sexual slavery is a trigger don’t read this chapter.
> 
> When reading this, please refer to images of Cthulhu (Our Lord and Savior), an Ood (from Doctor Who) and Davy Jones (from the Pirates of the Caribbean movie). Don’t judge me. If it makes you feel better, why not Zoidberg?

_Sweet dreams are made of this_  

Kirk remained in an emotionless stasis while being transported, still wrapping his mind over what just happened and the dim light of his future. Tentacles gurgled at him, then remembered to use the speaking device.

“You are now my pet, rejoice.” Kirk had no response to that. “The other competitors fought hard for you, but I overcame them. Where I am from, that is a sign of power deserving of respect. I asserted my dominance over them by gaining you, refusing to back down even when The Dark One contended for the right to own you.” It babbled on.

Kirk came back to his senses somewhat. “The Dark One? You mean Khan?”

Tentacles hissed. “Speak when asked, not before.”

Kirk flinched, mumbling an apology before noticing how his behavior was already modifying itself to his new situation. There was no more fight, no more resistance. Where did it all go?

“We call him many things. He is The Dark One because of his appearance. His aggression has earned him other nicknames as well, such as Destroyer, Bone-Crusher, Steel Eyes, and more. You are lucky he is not your owner. I saved you from his wrath.” Tentacles told him. Kirk pursed his lips, holding back the reply of disagreement this time. “You learn quickly. I am glad. You may be an advancement in your species, like he is.”

The comparison stung more than he expected. He already knew he had way too many things in common with Khan, but having it pointed out to him by a complete stranger made it worse. The truth wasn’t as easy to hide from.

“But you are much less aggressive. I admire your submissiveness, it is good for my purposes.”

Kirk twitched. Submissive? Since when did he change his entire nature? He glared at the creature, hands clenching into fists within the bindings. _‘Just wait until you let me loose, you tentacled son of a bitch.’_ He thought, energized by the renewed viciousness. He decided to target this being with all the hate and rage he gathered over the years to escape his own way. Fuck Khan. He didn’t need the bastard.

_Who am I to disagree?_

They arrived at the alien’s home and Kirk noticed other slaves in the compound. They all looked at him, but only for a short amount of time before returning to their duties. He didn’t recognize any of them and they didn’t seem to know about him. In a way he felt relieved. If anyone he knew saw the rash, reckless young Captain this way it would only increase his embarrassment and shame. If anyone found out how he begged Khan…

“You will be trained into further obedience. You will also be tested for sexual stimulation.”

Kirk blinked. “What?”

A sharp pain brought him to his knees, screaming in agony. Looking up, he noticed a long, pointed barb disappear back into the folds of the creature’s skin. He gasped, touching the wound in his side. The other slaves briefly looked up from their work again.

“If you persist, I will have your mouth bound shut permanently. I prefer my pets silent.”

Kirk nodded slowly, standing and wincing. Tentacles lead him throughout the house and he observed how the other humans behaved. Docile, averting their eyes and sticking to their chores, none of them speaking, faces blank and unreadable. They barely even looked human anymore. Kirk remembered Ambassador Riley and again wondered how long it would take for him to end up like that.

The days passed in a haze after his first session with Tentacles. He was poked and prodded, probed and given no quarter when he didn’t behave properly. That barb stabbed him so quickly he hardly even saw it, going in deep enough to nearly pierce organs. He didn’t understand why it was so painful, how it seemed to pulsate within his entire being, crippling him for a few minutes. He stopped breathing, grew dizzy, vision blurring, before the pain ebbed. His brief plan of aggression burned out of him before it ever came to fruition. Tentacles stopped using the robotic voice to utter commands, instead using his natural language to the point where Kirk learned what was meant behind each gurgled order.

He couldn’t speak, not even utter a sound, without being punished. He was so used to sharing his thoughts and opinions, it was the hardest rule to learn. He was unable to communicate with the other slaves. They wouldn’t acknowledge his presence, nor each other’s, even when they were working together. Like machines operating mechanically for the desired goal. Everything was on a strict schedule. Kirk noticed when the slaves would stand straight, going rigid and stopping their tasks before walking away. He was encouraged to follow them and learned the nightly routine for sleeping. At least Tentacles understood basic human functions enough to allow them rest and food.

The first time he was presented with what Tentacles deemed food he gagged, coughing it up and holding an arm over his mouth. When he tried to refuse more, it was force-fed down his throat. Even if he wanted to speak after that, he couldn’t. His mind shut down on him, so he wouldn’t be tempted to rebel and receive more pain. He was turning into the selfish monster, looking out for his own survival. He almost forgot about his crew in his own pain. There was no hope for rescue or salvation.

He went about his day with a dull mind, only noticing how much his expression matched the others when he happened to look up into a mirror one day. His eyes were no longer bright or shining, his face unrecognizable, like he was staring at a stranger. He took a quick breath, a spark of his old personality returning, before it was shut out by a gurgled command. Looking down, he returned to his work.

Like the Ambassador, he lost track of time. He could only count the days by the steady routine of work, eat, pleasuring the master, sleep. Wake up. Work. Eat. Pleasure the master. Sleep. Repeat.

_I travel the world and the seven seas_

He eventually got used to the tentacles and the odd bruises they left behind. It was a strange sensation which he wholly resisted at first. They slithered around him, gripping and squeezing, reaching deep inside. Sometimes they were wet, and the squelching sounds they made gave him nausea. They would enter ever orifice, seeking to be inside as much of him as possible. Kirk didn’t understand, nor did he care to, he just remembered to breathe through his mouth around his tongue and the tentacle snaking down his throat, or past his nose and the smaller appendages slithering up his sinuses toward his brain. When they first entered his ears it tickled and he twitched, but was held in place tightly. The suckers made a loud popping sound, making him deaf for a few days after.

He retreated into his mind, refusing to grapple with the torture he was put through, only thinking of the pain he would receive should he disobey. A shell of his former self, he felt hollow and empty even when he ate and was filled with the tentacles. He was starting to forget his own name, his own past, the sound of his voice or any human communication without even knowing what was slipping away.

So it came as a surprise when a familiar presence made him perk up, emotions flooding his senses and making him feel alive again. His eyes darted after the coat as it flapped down the hall. Like a curious animal, he peeked around the corner to see the coat disappear into the master’s business room. Hesitating at first, there was a smell drawing him in, a warmth in the air making his skin prickle. He needed to know what this was, why the good kind of electricity was humming through his bones. With his back to the wall, he slowly crept along the hallway, focused to a hyper awareness. He stopped near the doorframe, listening in to the conversation.

“I already bought him and have trained him to suit my purposes. He would not be easily reprogrammed if handed over to a new master.” The robotic voice said.

“Yes, but I was merely wondering if you were growing bored of him yet. Has he put up any fight?” a smooth, deep, _human_ voice answered.

Kirk sucked in a breath, tasting something in the air he couldn’t put a name to. He licked his lips and took another step closely, intoxicated by that voice.

“Not once, he has been very subservient. Perhaps he is not as stimulating as I hoped. My tentacles are starting to grow tired of him.”

“As I feared.” The voice replied, making Kirk’s heart stutter and beat uncontrollably. Frightened by his body’s response, unused to it, fearing punishment should he be found out, he began backing up when the sound of the visitor stopped his movements. “I am willing to pay more than the auction price to get him off your hands.”

“But he is already broken, as you said. Why do you want him? Forgive my behavior during the auction, but I wanted him for my own plans, you understand. I was also surprised at your involvement. You do not normally participate in the auctions, nor take any interest in the slaves.”

“No, but this one caught my attention. I believe I can use him.” Kirk’s eyes closed at the sound, the vibrations in the air, breathing in deep and sinking to the ground. It wasn’t the words giving him this effect—he went so long without hearing proper speech he could barely follow the conversation, so absorbed in the new sound.

“I do not desire more than he is worth. It is time for a new batch of slaves. I was going to give them to the recycle plantation soon.”

“It would be a pity to send him through processing.” Kirk perceived a distinctly separate tone in the air, but didn’t understand what it meant.

“There is nothing left in him. If you wish to pursue what little there is to be scraped out, I will not refuse.”

“Then we have an agreement.”

Kirk twitched at the word, confused at the sorrow and pain he felt. Something was floating on the edges of his mind, some kind of memory he couldn’t quite grasp.

“Yes, I will have him prepared for transport.”

Fear lanced through him as he realized they were getting up and leaving the room. Bolting down the hallway—the first time he actually ran in what felt like years—he returned to his assigned spot of the day. His body felt strange, chest expanding and contracting at a faster pace than usual, limbs shaking, rasping sounds escaping past his lips. He felt a hint of familiarity but couldn’t quite place it. In fact, even thinking was an effort he somehow got out of lately.

Footsteps, louder than they should be to his newly sensitive ears, approached him. He desperately tried to calm himself lest he appear disobedient and kept his eyes focused on the task before him.

“You are being reassigned.” The robotic voice almost made him jump, but he maintained control of his body as he slowly turned, not looking Tentacles in the eye. Instead he averted them like usual, and found himself staring at a familiarly black-clad form. His head lifted, eyes following, until they locked on a pair of steel eyes.

He dropped what he was working on, mouth falling open in a gasp as he took a step back instinctually. Khan was staring at him with a mix of amusement and pity, emotions Kirk scarcely recognized anymore.

“This is Khan. He attempted to purchase you at the auction and now has come back with an offer to buy you from me. I have accepted, as you were proving less useful.”

The words from their conversation started coming back to him, registering in his mind which felt like it was awakening after a long sleep. He would have been disposed of if it weren’t for Khan’s arrival. He was boring, no longer enticing enough to be a pet. For some reason Khan wanted him anyway.

“Kh…haaan…” he breathed, voice hoarse. The name rolled off his tongue like he used it many times before, despite the lack of proper pronunciation from the robotic voice. His own voice sounded wrong, but he ignored it.

Khan nodded, eyes softening only a little. More memories of that face making different features appeared in Kirk’s mind, making him dizzy and lean against the wall. He found it difficult to breathe again.

“Your presence is provoking his original programming. Such a response is unusual for only one encounter.” Tentacles remarked.

“It was not just one encounter.” Khan whispered, stepping forward. Kirk’s eyes darted up to him, searching, pleading, not understanding why he felt all of these emotions and why the presence was so familiar. Anger, longing, sorrow, pain, relief, excitement. He couldn’t handle it all and whined, glancing between them in confusion. “You broke so easily, I didn’t expect to see you like this when I came for you.” The Dark One continued to murmur. “Hopefully it is not too late.”

“You are distressing him. Is this your intention?”

“It is no longer your concern.” Khan said in an authoritative tone, straightening and turning to Tentacles. “If he has no belongings, I’ll take him with me now.”

“He was brought with nothing and shall leave with nothing. Do you wish to take any more of my slaves before they are recycled?”

“No.” Khan turned back to Kirk. “Just this one.” He reached out a hand to Kirk who jumped back, staring at it in fear. Khan’s jaw clenched and his eyes seared as they looked at Tentacles. “I suggest you use other taming methods with your new batch of humans. They have been turned into animals, hardly worth the price you paid and lacking in the skills which they are prized for.” His voice was acidic, growling.

Kirk reacted to the tone, recognizing it and moving closer, that old curiosity coming back. His fingers touched Khan’s, whose head whipped around to look at the contact. Kirk felt a jolt go through him as he felt Khan’s skin, sliding his fingers further up his hand. He knew this. He liked this. He wanted this.

_Everybody’s looking for something_

* * *

 

_Months later…_

Kirk woke up in a sweat, gasping and sitting upright in bed. The memories infiltrating his dreams made his skin crawl, nausea welling up in the pit of his stomach. He ran a hand through his hair and breathed deeply, closing his eyes and willing his body to relax. He could still feel the tentacles wrapping around his body and entering.

“Ahhhhck!” he cried, throwing his arms above his head, getting up from the bed to pace around the room. He told himself to focus, to relax, reminding himself how much he gained in these last few months, how close he was to being whole again.

A comforting presence, warm yet commanding, appeared in the form of a hand on his shoulder. “Another nightmare of the past?” a low voice asked.

Kirk nodded. He didn’t mind the touch, not anymore. He turned to Khan, eyes brighter than before, and allowed the hand to move to his cheek. It was calming, soothing.

Ambassador Riley’s words once again shot through his mind. Could he function properly in regular society anymore? He needed to find out, but in order to do so, he needed to get away from Khan. The superior being, his once enemy, was the one who took care of him and brought him back from the brink of despair. Kirk didn’t know why, but he owed this man so much more than his life. Khan saved him twice now, and there was no way Kirk would ever be able to repay that debt.

His rescuer leaned in, moving closer so their bodies touched. Kirk’s breathing hitched as his head was titled back, eyes fluttering closed.

_Khan led him out of the compound and away from Tentacles forever. He still couldn’t understand what was happening and why this man seemed so familiar, or why he felt the need to cling to him. His eyes flitted around: frightened, curious, and giddy. Kirk wasn’t used to having these emotions, especially not this many at one time, combatting against each other. He thought of someone who could relate to his position, but the name and memory vanished before he could take hold and examine it._

_Khan gave him a look he didn’t quite know how to react to. It was odd, being with this new owner and not knowing how to behave properly. He could tell it would be a different experience than being under Tentacles’ command. The ride to his new home was silent, filled with fleeting stares and a heart pumping madly. Visions flashed inside his head, moving too fast and giving him strange emotions, jarring him from reality. He hesitantly followed Khan inside, who led him to a room equipped with medical gear._

_“I want physical and mental tests done, comparing it with this data.” Khan told the doctor, handing over a device Kirk thought he saw before, a lifetime ago. He backed away, fearful of what these tests would compose of. What did he do to be punished for? He looked up at his new master, eyes wide. “It’s alright,” Khan told him softly. “I just want to see…if you are healthy, of both body and mind.”_

_Kirk wanted to ask him a question, but his throat clenched around the words out of instinct and lack of use. If he tried to speak, he knew there would be nothing but gibberish coming out of his mouth. How long had it been? Since…when? What was life like before he was a slave to Tentacles? Who was he before he became a pet?_

_These questions ran through his mind as he laid on the table with electrodes—as the doctor called them—attached to his body. He was afraid of receiving shocks like before, but nothing happened._

Khan’s lips touched his lightly as he relived the past. He put up no resistance, instead succumbing to the command. Khan’s hand slid into his hair, sending a jolt through his body as the kiss deepened. Kirk wrapped his arms around the other man, holding on tightly as he did in the beginning.

_Kirk followed Khan around everywhere, clinging to his arm like a lifeline. Khan would give him odd looks but said nothing. When asked a question, Kirk would open his mouth but found no words on his tongue._

_“Are you unable to speak?” Khan eventually asked._

_Kirk shook his head, feeling his throat. “Just…long time…forget…words. Hurts.” He croaked, wincing. He felt something off about his speech, knowing he wasn’t making sense._

_“He liked it quiet, your old master? Didn’t allow the slaves to speak.” Khan stated._

_Kirk nodded slowly._

_“Having only that robotic voice and alien tongue to listen to must have destroyed your sense of language. I can help you.”_

_Kirk smiled, excited about the possibilities of talking again. He missed talking._

Khan’s fingers brushed against his pelvis, making Kirk jerk and shiver, as they pulled at the waistband of his pants. He didn’t know how it got like this. He knew he wasn’t the same, would never be the same, as he was before. Khan had complete control over him.

He needed to escape, see his crew, and find a way out of this shithole of a planet, this Hell. If he didn’t get out now, he would never survive. Khan had his reasons for everything. It was all one giant plan with Kirk at the center. Revenge? Probably. Manipulation, psychological warfare, and physical domination? Definitely.

_I wanna use you and abuse you_

* * *

 

He cast a glance behind him, walking faster. This was his chance. Leaving the place he called home for a short amount of time, heading toward the edge of oblivion, Kirk wondered if his crew would be waiting for him. Spock, Uhura, Scotty, Bones, Chekov, Sulu. He remembered all their names and faces. Every conversation, every look, every touch finally came back to him over time. Worry filled his system, worry for himself, his friends, his future. Running across the wide plain of the planet, he eventually saw the fence in the distance, the gateway to his freedom. Breathing hard, ribs aching, legs burning, he kept going.

He bent over, putting hands on knees and resisting the urge to puke, once he got there. Now he had to figure out how to get out. Reaching toward the gate, he let one finger touch the wire and was zapped back a few feet, landing on his ass. Groaning and writhing, he looked at his burnt finger, arm shaking, and tried to catch his breath. Getting up, he decided to try a different approach.

A running jump would be futile because the fence was too high. Crawling under was an option, assuming he could dig deep enough and the wires weren’t too far underground as well. Knowing the security of this place, he knew it wouldn’t be that easy. If he could destroy the electrical field, he could climb over. But how? He looked around for anything large enough to smash against the wires, perhaps make a hole big enough to go through, breaking the links. A few small rocks were scattered on the ground, but not much else. There were no guards in the immediate area, no convenient off switch nearby. He knew where the controls for the fence were, but he also knew the guards were there as well. And probably Khan by now. Hands on hips, he contemplated his options.

“You won’t get very far like that.” That deep voice rumbled behind him.

He froze, turning slowly to face Khan. The man was standing in that predatory stance, leaning slightly onto one side, head tilted to examine him with those steel eyes.

“Hey, I have a crew to get back to, can’t you understand?” he asked.

Khan took a step closer and Kirk put his hands up. “I cannot allow you to leave just yet.”

“ _Why_.” He whined.

“Do you feel you are ready to face them? Tell me, Kirk, how do you plan to handle their questions and concerns, how will you fit into their society again, so soon after everything that happened? You need more _time_.” Khan told him, still approaching.

Kirk wanted to ask him why he cared so much. He wanted to scream. Instead he did the only thing he could, the only thing he knew anymore. He shut down. Accepted defeat. His expression changed, reminiscent of his former self. “Alright, fine. I was just testing you anyway. You know, playing a game of chase.”

Khan looked as if he knew that was a shitty lie. “Really?” he drawled.

“Yeah, like cat and mouse. I thought you liked that sort of thing.” Kirk replied with a smile. Khan got closer and Kirk locked his knees to keep from running again. Using diversionary tactics he learned from day one of being a pet, he fidgeted instead, lowering his head. “I know I’m not ready to leave just yet, and I trust your judgment, but I just wanted to have fun. See what you’d do, if you’d like it.”

The smirk he received upon shyly looking up was both relieving and horrifying. Submissive and demure, playing the mouse to Khan’s cat, he feared punishment if he didn’t play his cards right.

“So you’ll come back with me.” Khan asked him, his tone making it clear he had no other choice whether he liked it or not.

Kirk nodded, still smiling. “Of course.”

Khan turned, his eyes still on Kirk, who took a step forward. He followed Khan, remaining behind him and keeping his features light as Khan kept looking back to make sure he was still there. He remembered a time when they were walking side by side down the hall, preparing to…storm the Vengeance, confront Markus, save his crew. His crew…

“One day you’ll be ready, and I will set you free. Just not today.” Khan told him softly. Kirk cursed himself for letting his façade slip. Khan could always see right through him anyway.

_I wanna know what’s inside_

* * *

 

It was always worse when he woke up from his memories. He would never be able to erase the feeling of those tentacles. When Khan was beside him, leaning on his elbow with a concerned and patient expression, it made him sick. He hated the emotions he began associating with Khan. Warmth, comfort, relief, trust…love. They didn’t belong. It was wrong. This was Khan, The Dark One, Destroyer, Bone-Crusher, Steel Eyes, Ubermensch, the man some alien species worshipped as a god. Kirk remembered all too well what this man was capable of. Yet at the same time, he remembered every time the monster saved him, revealing a side not shown to anyone else.

_The first time Khan raised a hand to him, Kirk thought he was going to be punished. He flinched instinctually, shutting his eyes and preparing for the pain to come. Instead a gentle touch was laid upon his cheek, smoothing his skin with a thumb. Kirk opened his eyes to see one of those expressions he would never quite understand or forget. It was almost pained. The words were the same. “What did that creature do to you, Captain James Tiberius Kirk?” He whispered._

_Kirk was stunned. That name and title felt like it belonged to him, but he was only called “pet” by Tentacles. Hearing it now unleashed memories he locked deep inside when he knew he could not bear their weight. He gasped, collapsing against Khan as he began to remember._

_They came as snippets at first, small flashes of a former life. A seemingly random incident which only made sense after connecting it with others, putting the puzzle pieces back together, realizing who he was and what he’d done to get here._

_That was when the nightmares started. He would wake up screaming, thrashing around and ripping at the imaginary tentacles holding him down, sneaking inside. When he was in his own room, Khan would come bursting in, demanding answers Kirk couldn’t give. One night he cried himself to sleep in Khan’s arms, keening and wailing, digging his fingers into the hard skin. Soon after Khan brought him into his own room to sleep, eventually becoming a shared room where Kirk spent most of his time._

_When Kirk asked when he would be able to leave, wanting to see his crew—his friends—so badly that it made him nauseous, Khan shook his head. “You can’t see them yet, Jim. They wouldn’t understand what you’ve become. You need to stay with me just a little longer. I can help you get back to normal.” He whispered, holding his pet close._

_The first time Khan kissed him, he didn’t know what to do. It was the first intimate human experience he had in…who knows how long. Khan’s lips felt soft, tingling, and he was once again intoxicated by emotions. The touches felt so smooth, so human, he needed more, begged for more, and was so happy when he realized what this was. Sex. Sweet glorious human-to-mostly-human sex. No extra appendages or weird alien genitalia to deal with, no force behind the actions, no need to withdraw and pretend it wasn’t happening._

At first he reveled in it, would sometimes initiate the first move, but now he avoided Khan and his magical, sensual fingers every chance he got. He flirted with the other slaves—only the females—to distract himself. One day Khan caught him.

Kirk was leaning against the wall with one hand on his hip, dangerously close to the woman who blushed and stammered, but was clearly interested. All of the other pets were curious about him, especially when it came to his relationship to the master. They knew not to ask outright and to keep their curiosity to themselves, but Kirk didn’t mind indulging them.

“You’re really pretty, did anyone ever tell you that?” he smiled, brushing some hair out of her face. She blushed, dipping her head. “I’d like to get to know you more, you seem really interesting.”

She giggled, probably remembering what it was like to be genuinely flirted with, no matter how bad his pick-up lines were because he could barely remember how he used to do this, only that he did. She wasn’t as emotionally abused as he was when he first came here, but he doubted Khan was this openly sexual with her or the other humans around.

“Up to your old ways again, Jim?”

The smile fell from her face and she squeaked, dashing away in fear of retribution. Kirk swiveled around to Khan, a smile plastered on his face. “Hey, there you are! I was looking for you.”

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“So I have an idea to help jog my memory—,”

“Kirk.”

He stopped midsentence, the words dying in his throat, like he was mute all over again. That tone made his body tense, made the fear come racing back, made this entire exchange the exact reason why he didn’t like to be alone with him anymore. Khan stalked forward, eyes narrowed and fierce. Jealousy. This time Kirk recognized the emotion for what it was.

_I’m gonna use you and abuse you_

Kirk averted his gaze, jaw clenching, swallowing, hands curling into fists to keep from shaking. Khan dissected him with his eyes for a moment before putting a hand underneath Kirk’s chin and turning it toward him.

“No, I want you to look in my eyes. In fact, I prefer it that way.” Kirk couldn’t look away even if he tried. “You are _mine_ now. Remember that.” Khan growled.

“Yes, master.”

_Kirk had no issue calling him master, even if Khan shot him an odd look for doing so. Why shouldn’t he recognize his status as a pet, of being owned? It was so ingrained into his mind he never really thought about it until he caught himself one day._

_“I’ll be home late, make sure you eat and get some sleep, you need it more than you think.” Khan ordered, slipping his jacket on as he prepared to depart._

_“Yes master.” Kirk replied automatically. Khan’s head swiveled toward him and Kirk looked up, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. It felt…weird to say that to Khan, especially as his memories started returning._

_“There’s no need to keep calling me that, Jim. A simple ‘sir’ will suffice for now.” Khan told him in a softer tone before turning away._

_“Yes, sorry…sir.”_

_The curt nod he received was all he needed from that point on to fix the title. But he still slipped up every now and then…_

Khan blinked and Kirk closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and dipping his head. “S-sorry I just…when you…I get scared sometimes and…it…habit.” He stammered, unable to focus anymore. Khan got him flustered and paranoid when he was angry, sending his mind into that basic, animalistic state he used as protection with his former owner. “Won’t, it won’t…happen again. So- I mean, said that already, never…never mind.” His words were getting jumbled inside his head, giving him a headache just to think. He pressed a hand to his forehead.

Khan trailed his fingers down Kirk’s neck, massaging his collarbone to calm him down. “You’re still so fragile.” He stated. Kirk flinched. “This is why you can’t leave me. You’d be lost without me to guide you. You _need_ me.”

Kirk squeezed his eyes shut, choking on a whimper, knowing the truth when he heard it. Khan was right. He was always right. At this rate, he would never be able to leave. How long had it been?

_I’m gonna know what’s inside_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: There will be a third chapter, just so I can finish the lyrics to this song, and because Master!Khan and Pet!Kirk is so addicting. Also for some more KirkxKhan action and possible smut. Unless I chicken out at the last minute, because I prefer writing the emotional aspects over the physical. Worry not, mes amies, one day I’ll write fics for TOS. One day.


	3. Moving On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Non, je ne possède pas Star Trek (No, I do not own Star Trek, and I’m not really sure why I keep using French in the notes on this fic). These lyrics are from Eurythmics again.
> 
> Warning: Same as before. Ten times worse. Tears will be shed. (In all seriousness, if you do not do well with Major Character Deaths, manipulative behavior, or abuse and slavery, I suggest reading some fluff instead in order to escape the feels.)
> 
> This chapter was inspired by my wifey who said “HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN IT” when I asked her what to do. Also by this Khirk playlist I found on Tumblr: http://8tracks.com/stargazerriot/bad-blood. Bless.

_Hold your head up_

Kirk decided to make the best of his situation. He wasn’t sure how, but he knew it was better than sinking into a deep depression, closing around him like an early grave. He wasn’t as young and bold anymore, but there were places he just refused to go when pushed too far.

“So where do you go all the time?” he asked Khan one day, taking a bite out of an apple as he strode into the dining area.

Khan looked up from what he was reading, an eyebrow raised. Kirk chewed, leaning against the table. “My job.”

“Which is?”

Khan gave him another look, challenging him. He put the paper down. “I suppose you should know. I work the slave trade, directing the flow of the Black Market.” Kirk choked on the piece of apple he was chewing, coughing and covering his mouth. He swallowed before nodding. Should have known. “I make sure each new slave is prepped and put on exhibit, that each buyer gets a good look, then send them into the auction room for their private meetings before getting up on stage. You remember the process, right?” Khan continued with a small smile.

As he paled with each word, Kirk made a mental note not to ask Khan any more questions. He chewed slower, then stood straight and walked out of the room, taking another bite as an excuse not to reply. He was testing his boundaries with the man he called owner, wondering how far Khan would let his little pet go. While he never stated so out loud, he really wanted to get out of the house and just…explore. He refused to ask Khan to take him somewhere one day, but he sometimes indicated his interest.

* * *

“I think you’re tame enough to come with me today.” Khan told him suddenly one morning.

Kirk blinked. “What.”

Khan smiled. It wasn’t a warm, cute little smile most lovers gave each other, but it was still…there. “You don’t like being stuck here anymore, right? You’re being a bit obvious, especially lately.” Kirk shrugged, pretending nonchalance. “I’m not working the market today, there’s a big to-do going on with the head honchos. It’s basically a chance for me to show you off.”

Khan was saying this on purpose just to see Kirk’s reaction. Being paraded around like a trophy was the last item on Kirk’s list of things to do today, but of course he wouldn’t refuse. Besides, it was still going outside, meeting new people, and seeing the world he was marooned on. He was also getting used to the way Khan spoke in old idioms, sounding aged yet strangely still sophisticated. Reminding Kirk who he was and where he came from while providing the distance between them.

So he nodded. “Sure.”

* * *

He couldn’t help himself from looking all over the place, his eyes soaking in everything to be analyzed later. Who knew when Khan would let him out of his cage again? His head swiveled around as he turned, walking backwards to see everything around him. He noticed Khan glancing back at him with an amused expression. He tugged at his pet’s sleeve, who quickened his pace to keep up. Kirk was actually surprised Khan didn’t bind him somehow. Guess he was pretty tame after all.

Of course, there was the implicit ‘if you misbehave, I will sear the proper etiquette into your skin and brand my name into you with a tire iron’ threat lingering just beneath Khan’s stare which pretty much held Kirk back. He also didn’t trust the other aliens around, no matter how many times Khan explained how pets were the physical property of their owners and were never allowed to be harmed by anyone else. Unless explicitly ordered to. Kirk begged to differ, remembering the time when Tentacles shared him with guests. Khan tried to assure him there would be no such sharing, but he still looked at others warily, sticking close enough to Khan to always be touching.

“Kirk, this is a coworker of mine. He is the head of Security for the market.” Khan told him smoothly. The way he used the word ‘market’ casually to reference the building where human slaves were sold off to other alien species always made Kirk twitch slightly, but he held back the tick in front of these creatures. Flashes of his time in the slave market made him hover closer to Khan, shoulders brushing together.

“You gave him a name?” the coworker replied, directly addressing Khan in a rough version of English.

“Yes, it sounds better than ‘pet’ in bed.” Khan joked, chuckling. Kirk blushed, blinking and glancing at Khan with a shocked expression, which was ignored. He had no idea what his master said about him around the other slavers, or if he talked about him at all. The thought of Khan detailing out every little bit of torture he made his pet undergo had Kirk paling slightly.

“I remember this one…wasn’t he sold to—,”

“I convinced him to reconsider his choice a little later.” Khan said quickly before Kirk’s memories were triggered. He didn’t want his pet to have a panic attack with all these slavers around.

“Yes, you actually bid on him. You never bid. All your other slaves were given to you out of courtesy as workers, right?”

Khan shrugged. “I saw something I liked in him.” He turned to Kirk, who gave a hesitant smile. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was supposed to do, so fell back on normal behavior he picked up over the time he spent here. He assumed silence and submissiveness was key.

“What the hell was that about?” he whispered furiously as they walked away, face still red and head down.

“Just having some fun.” Khan answered. “And watch your tongue around here.” He added in a colder tone.

“But what am I supposed to _do_?” Kirk changed his tone to concerned and begging.

“Be yourself.” Kirk turned his head, giving him a look clearly demonstrating his disagreement with that statement. Khan chuckled again. “Act like a nice little pet, and maybe next time I’ll take you somewhere unrelated to the slave trade. You know there’s a whole city on this side of the planet.” Kirk resisted the urge to whine at the chance of seeing a city again. “Besides, I’ll let you know if you do something wrong.”

Kirk faltered in his step. The fear flashing in his eyes made Khan slow down as well, a grin spreading. Oh how he loved to tease the former Captain…

 _Keep your head up_  

He took Kirk by the wrist and led him, noticing how jittery he was getting. Kirk jumped when another creature passed by too close for comfort, pressing himself against Khan. “Relax.” Khan whispered.

“This place isn’t exactly peaceful for me and you know it.” Kirk bit back. He was at the point where he could get away with being a bit disrespectful to Khan, almost bringing back their old camaraderie, but sometimes he went too far and Khan corrected him. Right now, he was on the right path.

“Take a minute to calm yourself, I’m bringing you to the leader.”

Kirk sucked in a breath and stopped walking, stumbling forward when Khan kept moving. They stopped in the corridor, Kirk shaking his head vigorously, no words escaping past his lips. Khan could see the panic rising and pulled him into a smaller alley, slamming him against the wall before any witnesses rounded the next corner. Kirk was breathing hard, closing his eyes and fidgeting in his grip. “I don’t think I’m ready for that.” He gasped, looking up.

“You’ll be fine, _trust me_.” Khan told him through clenched teeth, staring him in the eye. Kirk’s eyes once again pleaded with him, looking the same as they did that day in the market. He rested his head against the wall and focused on putting himself back together. Khan relaxed the grip on his shirt and backed up a step, giving him room to breathe. After a few deep breaths he asked “Better now?” Kirk gulped and nodded, eyes still closed. Khan touched his wrist lightly and backed up again, turning around to lead the way into a large room full of fellow slavers. Kirk followed.

* * *

Kirk somehow got separated from Khan once the market organizers began swarming. He _may_ have taken the opportunity to sneak off in another escape attempt. Who knew when Khan would let him out again or actually bring him along? Besides, he had no inclination to meet the man who sold him into slavery. Now was the best time to leave and finally get off this wretched planet to find his crew. Of course, if he was caught again and Khan asked, he would lie just like before and pretend the growing crowd of alien overlords pushed them away from each other, and he was desperately trying to find his master when—

Kirk stopped. Mid-stride, he stood frozen in the hallway, breathing restricted, muscles tight, and eyes growing wider as they stared at the figure in front of him. He could never forget all those _tentacles_.

It gurgled at him, and he instinctively shut down all resistance, a whine squirming up his throat. Tentacles approached, and Kirk wanted to scream out. If he could make a sound, that is.

He never even knew this creature’s name, simply called it by the numerous appendages he was more intimate with than he ever wanted to be with anything else for the rest of his lifetime. Would Khan hear him, or would another slaver get to him first? Which would be worse? Would Khan even come to his aid or let the thing violate him again, making him learn his lesson of escape the hard way?

In the back of his mind, he realized he should have never drifted from his protector. Khan was the only thing standing in the way between him and oblivion. No matter what those cold, uncaring eyes told, his master was too possessive to let another being harm him. At least that’s what Kirk told himself as he took a step back, trying to get a scream past his clogged throat.

Tentacles advanced, limbs wriggling with excitement, gurgling quickly. Kirk couldn’t understand the language anymore, for which he was thankful. Hearing Khan’s deep, sensuous voice in his ear, no matter what words came out between those lips, cured him of losing his mind. He would often just sit with Khan, staring at him and listening to him speak, not thinking of the words but analyzing the tenors and tones in his master’s voice like it was classic music.

He tried to think of those moments as the creature came nearer, reaching inside its cloak to take out the talking device. Kirk shook his head. No, not that damned mechanical voice again. He never wanted to hear another robot’s monotone syllables again.

“It is good to see you again, pet. You are looking well.”

“KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!” Kirk shrieked, unleashing every ounce of fear and panic he held within his body. He couldn’t stop now. He kept screaming his master’s name, his old ally, old enemy, now lover, protector, owner. “KHAN! KHAAAAN! KHAAAAAAN!” he ran down the halls, clawing his way past other slavers who looked at him as if he were going manic. Maybe he was. He searched the crowd for the dark figure he sought, calling out his name, no other words at his disposal. He couldn’t beg for help, he couldn’t explain why he was so scared, he couldn’t tell the slavers to go away, leave him alone, just get those _damn tentacles the fuck away from me_. Just the name.

The crowd parted and he collided with a hard, familiar chest. Still screeching and crying, he scrabbled into Khan’s arms, wrapping around him and whimpering in his ear, trying to press into him completely to escape the danger. When he heard the gurgling approach again, he couldn’t even scream Khan’s name, just let loose an unyielding, unending torrent of verbal pain and terror.

“Shhhhh, shhhh, you’re safe now, you’re with me.” Khan tried to soothe his pet, whispering in his ear and rubbing his back, but Kirk was inconsolable. The slavers nearby were prepared to beat him into submission, but a glare from The Dark One made them edge away, leaving the scene so it was just the three: owner, former owner, and pet. Kirk felt Khan’s grip tighten and then he was extricated from his grasp, pleading with small whines and keens, fearing Khan would simply hand him over or beat him with his own hands right there.

The man’s stare was cutting, silencing the pet as he was placed aside and slightly behind Khan, a hand hovering near him in protection. He prowled forward. “I have been waiting a long time for this moment, ever since I got him back from _you_.” Khan snarled. Kirk was alarmed by his viciousness, unconsciously fearing that it was directed at him. Tentacles again reached for the talking device and Kirk flinched. Khan let out a hiss and the creature stopped. There would be no language other than carnage, his clenched muscles and bared teeth promised.

Tentacles hesitated, taking a small step back. His appendages flailed, as if sensing the dark aura quickly approaching. “He’s _mine_ now. Nearly broken beyond repair, but still _mine_.” Khan seethed. The tentacles reached out to him, seeking to wrap around him and stop his attack. He kept moving forward, ripping the arms and legs out of their sockets and off of him as he stepped into a wriggling mass of limbs. Kirk watched, mouth open, remembering the sheer ferocity Khan possessed when angered. The creature emitted a screeching noise, stumbling back as Khan continued ripping each limb off, splattering yellow oozing liquid all over the walls, the floor, even himself.

Kirk shut his eyes, clenching his head as he sunk to his knees. The squelching sounds and watching Khan tear the thing apart was unbearable. Khan turned back to him, half contemplating whether Kirk would prefer taking revenge himself, but when he saw his pet in the catatonic state his anger flared even more. He punched the creature, over and over, mangling the tentacles on its mouth until it gushed blood, forming a puddle. Some of the tentacles were still moving, squirming around. Kirk scrambled backward, letting out a squeak and trying to kick it away while grasping the wall. Khan’s fist was yellow, the bright substance standing out against his dark clothing. He turned toward Kirk and stepped on the tentacle inching toward him.

They stared at each other, breathing heavily, unmoving. When Kirk’s expression changed from abject fear to simply shock, Khan stepped forward, slowly. He took off his shirt and wiped the creature’s blood off of him, tossing the clothing aside and gesturing for the slavers hovering nearby to clean up the mess he left behind. One provided him with another shirt and he donned it before reaching down for his pet. Kirk stared at the offered hand, still trembling, but accepted it nonetheless. He hesitantly reached up to brush some blood off of Khan’s face, looking at his thumb in numb admiration.

Khan dipped his head to peer into his pet’s eyes, fingers running through Kirk’s hair in a comforting gesture, a silent question in his eyes. In return, Kirk leaned forward and pressed his head into Khan’s neck, breathing in his scent and placing a hand on his chest, a silent answer. His master protected him, directed his savagery toward the creature who brutalized and broke him, saved him from further torture. It was more than anyone else had ever done for him, more than he could ever make up for. He felt indebted, but grateful, comforted in knowing Khan wouldn’t betray him at every possible opportunity. Slight guilt for trying to escape eased its way inside his mind, churning his stomach. Khan killed for him, yet Kirk was always trying to get away.

Khan took Kirk’s head in his hands, lifting his face so their eyes met. “See, this is why you need to stay near me. Don’t ever wander off like that again.” Kirk tried to avoid the intense gaze in Khan’s eyes, but his head was jerked back around. “Do you understand?” Khan added in a growl, eyes fierce. Kirk nodded and whined, dipping his head in the crevice of Khan’s neck again to hide. “The leader is waiting, and he’ll want to know what happened to make us late.” Kirk nuzzled closer, a silent plea. “We’ll leave after I speak with him.” The pet had no choice other than to comply.

They only had a few minutes to compose themselves, Kirk relaxing at his master’s command, Khan in turn erasing the hatred from his features.

“So this is the infamous Kirk I’ve been hearing about.” The leader of the resident alien species said in almost perfect English. It alarmed Kirk but he said nothing, trying to keep his features appropriate.

Khan smiled, clapping Kirk on the back. “I thought I’d bring him today and introduce everyone.”

“I feel like I already know him.” The leader smiled back, coming nearer. Kirk pressed close to Khan again, eyes widening. “Still so shy, as you said.”

“This is his first time out around the others.” And he just so happened to have a run-in with his former master, but there was no reason to mention that right now.

“He’s not as aggressive as I thought he would be.” There was a glint in the alien’s eye Kirk didn’t like.

Khan gave a short chuckle. “Well, I told him to behave while he was around you.” His eyes spoke volumes about how he could make up for Kirk’s lack of aggression if necessary.

“He’s a shining example of the perfect pet. I approve. Good work, Khan.” Kirk’s heart stuttered at those words and the other man’s proud smile. Was that what he was now? No matter how equal he felt, he would always be reminded of his new position. His stare went to the ground. He could feel the creeping numbness crawl up his skin again, so tempting to just give up and fall back into his shell forever. The rest of the conversation was tuned out as he struggled with his inner desire to hang on to the last thread of dignity or surrender his soul to the devil himself. They weren’t talking to him anyway, just about him, and he was sure he didn’t want to know what was actually being said.

His eyes closed, hands clenching. A light touch caught his attention as Khan’s fingers slipped between his. Instead of gripping his wrist like normal, his owner was…holding hands with him? Kirk’s head turned to stare down at their entwined grasp, confused yet comforted. He glanced up just in time for Khan’s gaze to meet his. Relax. Calm down. _Trust me_.

So he did.

_Moving on_

* * *

Kirk felt freer for some reason, lighter and positive despite his obvious enslavement and disadvantage in Khan’s hands. He had to admit the man still unnerved him and the nagging thought of betrayal was always hovering in the back of his mind, but for some reason he allowed himself to let these feelings go at times. He even started singing again, swaying side to side to music as it played while he worked, remembering how his body moved before the torture and abuse, the way his voice sounded in Iowa. Eyes closed, he simply let himself _feel_ and didn’t analyze it. He enjoyed these moments, solitary and peaceful, which almost made him forget everything else.

It was one of these moments, preparing dinner in the kitchen, when Khan found him. Kirk was humming, a radio on in the background as he chopped veggies and sashayed around the room to retrieve ingredients. At one point his eyes were closed, head bobbing to the beat, hips moving to the rhythm. When he recognized the lyrics he began to sing along, voice a bit rough at first but managing to keep the harmony going.

When he opened his eyes, Khan was staring at him from the entryway. Kirk dropped the knife he was holding, body frozen in place, song cut off as his breathing stopped.

Khan’s mouth twitched up into a small smile. “You don’t have to stop, I was rather enjoying the show.” He said quietly, crossing his arms and leaning onto the doorframe. “I just wanted to see how our meal was coming along.”

Kirk took a breath and slowly bent to pick up the knife, washing it off and reaching for a new one. He couldn’t look at Khan and didn’t let himself move with the music. Fear muted his tongue. An expression of disappointment flashed briefly across Khan’s face before he came forward, letting his fingers drift along Kirk’s lower back as he passed. He felt his pet’s eyes on him as he opened a cabinet to retrieve a glass of amber liquid.

“I’ve been saving this for a good enough meal or special occasion.” Khan showed it to Kirk, who recognized his favorite alcoholic beverage. “Why not tonight?”

Kirk flicked his eyes up to Khan’s and back down to his preparations, nodding. Khan’s gaze lingered a moment before he took down some glasses and poured the whiskey, humming to the song softly. Holding one glass up to the light, he waited to see if Kirk would join him, watching from his periphery. When the song ended and silence reigned, he cast one last look at his pet before sighing and walking back into the dining room.

_Hold your head up (moving on)_

* * *

Kirk knew that look in Khan’s eyes. The man approached until their bodies were inches apart, one hand reaching to cup his cheek, a thumb rubbing against his lips. Kirk complied, although his nerves were tight and heart hammered behind his chest. This was never easy for him. Khan was skilled and made the experience pleasurable—too pleasurable for his enemy to fight. He couldn’t fight anyway, it would only cause more trouble because Khan would just force him—he found that out the hard way a long time ago—so submission was nearly guaranteed. But that didn’t stop his mind from screaming at him that this was a bad idea, dangerous, sleeping with the enemy and letting him get this intimate. There had to be an ulterior motive, something psychological pertaining to some master plan Khan had cooked up. Kirk fought with both emotions as Khan’s lips moved against his.

He was backed up against a wall, nowhere to run or hide, Khan’s body pressing against his. His other hand began to slide underneath Kirk’s shirt, making him shiver and gasp. Khan moved his mouth to Kirk’s neck when he noticed the hesitation in his pet’s eyes. He also felt a hand, trembling, placed on his hips and pushing back lightly. He nuzzled his slave’s neck and jawline before meeting those pained blue eyes. They didn’t need to speak to each other to communicate. Kirk gulped, shifting slightly to turn away from Khan, who angled his head to keep the other’s gaze. Eyes flickered up to his and back down, staggered breathing and racing pulse alerting him to his pet’s anxiety.

“Come now,” Khan said in a low, slow drawl. “Don’t be shy.” Kirk tilted his head up, giving Khan better access to his neck in a show of surrender. Khan didn’t pretend to ignore the times Kirk tried to avoid this moment. He knew the reasons why. His pet wasn’t good at hiding his emotions anymore, not when he wasn’t even used to having them. “Tell me what you’re thinking, pet.” He whispered in his ear. Kirk took a shuddering breath, mouth open but with no words coming out. “Say it.” Khan hissed, tightening his grip on Kirk’s chin and pulling him closer.

Kirk squeezed his eyes shut, whimpering. He didn’t want to do this right now, he didn’t have enough time to figure out what he was going to do or say. He couldn’t be expected to give away the last thing he had to hold onto. “I…” he started. “I-I…”

“Yes, go on.” Khan drawled again, licking his neck and dipping his fingers behind the waistband of Kirk’s pants.

I love what you do to me. I hate what you’ve turned me into. I love you for saving me. I hate you for trapping me here. I hate the way I feel about you, but I love the way you make me feel. I am whole with you, comfortable when you’re near, safe. I fear you, broken and vulnerable. You can do whatever you want to me and I’d let you. You are the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to me.

It all remained unspoken but there, they both knew it, could hear the words pass between them. Why did Khan want Kirk to say it all out loud? What would that prove?

Ownership. Kirk was his and needed to admit it, except he couldn’t even admit it to himself. Saying it out loud would put the lock on his cell, shackle him inside, never to escape. How could he go back to society feeling this way? How would he feel, go back to who and what he was before, with these emotions running through him like an electric wire?

“I…I need…” Khan’s eyes commanded more. “I need you…” Of course you do, that look said. “I need you to stop…please.” Kirk whispered, squirming underneath Khan’s touch as fingers rubbed circles against his pelvis.

Khan paused, eyes sharpening and jaw tightening. “That’s not the right answer.” He continued, leaning forward to suck on Kirk’s neck, who gave a small moan and whine.

“I can’t…”

“Hushhhh.”

“I can’t keep doing this.” Kirk cried.

“Why.”

“You know why.”

“ _Say it_.”

“Will you stop?” the pet gasped. His eyes rolled back into his head, back arching under Khan’s hand as it slid palm down toward his groin, eliciting another groan.

“No.” Khan nipped his neck and jaw, then forced Kirk’s face to meet his. “I won’t ask again. If I have to, I’ll make you _scream_ it.”

Kirk opened his mouth again, lips brushing against Khan’s before he kissed the corner, leaning forward, pressing against Khan’s hand beneath his pants. He began a trail of kisses down his master’s neck, trying to soothe the beast. Khan narrowed his eyes, watching with an unimpressed look, still waiting for his answer. Kirk’s lips slid up to his ear. “I love you.” He whispered, voice hoarse, defeated. Khan smiled, moving swiftly to pull Kirk up and onto him, capturing his mouth in a kiss. Kirk’s legs wrapped around his hips, hands running through Khan’s hair.

Khan walked backward, leading them to the bedroom as the kiss grew intense. Teeth pulled on lips, drawing blood, while tongues licked at the wound. Hips rocked forward, grinding, thighs clenched and fingers clawed. Khan laid his prize on the bed and mounted, ripping off Kirk’s shirt while fingers tugged at his own. Their mouths came together again. Skin slick with heat and sweat, hair tousled, mouths bruised, the two moved together in a controlled frenzy. Khan’s actions had a purpose as the pants restricting access were removed, spreading the man below him with a hand on an inner thigh. Kirk leaned forward to bite down on the button of Khan’s pants, taking the zipper in his teeth and lowering them, using his hands to tug the clothing down and out of the way.

Khan pushed him back down, pinning his arms above his head and rolling his hips to provoke another moan. His knee pushed under one of Kirk’s legs as he eased his way in, kissing his neck so he could hear the moans and cries coming from the man’s mouth. Khan was all about power, control, and domination. Kirk was putty in his hands.

In the aftermath, the slave was left exhausted while the master barely seemed out of breath. Khan caressed Kirk’s forehead and the man twitched, mumbling something incoherent as he slept. He moved the man’s arms from above his head to out by his side, turning him over and lying next to him. Kirk snuggled closer, nuzzling his head against Khan’s chest and wrapping his arms around his neck.

_Keep your head up (moving on)_

* * *

Kirk refused to acknowledge the night before. He pretended to ignore his admission and the results. Was it just him, or did his master seem more pleased than usual? No, he wouldn’t think about it. It was a mistake, a dream, a nightmare come to life. Instead he went about his day the same as usual. Work. Eat. Please the master. Sleep.

Wait. No. Wrong time, wrong place, wrong master.

His head was scrambled, he couldn’t think properly, but he forced himself to focus on his tasks. He interacted with the other slaves like normal, sending a smile to the girl he was flirting with earlier. She hesitated, a bit fearful, but replied with a smile of her own. Luckily he didn’t see his lover—master—at all from the time he woke up. The bed was empty and Kirk was grateful. He didn’t want to face the man, ever, over what happened last night. What happened? Nothing. That’s what he told himself. It got him through the day.

But when Khan rounded the corner while Kirk was talking to another slave about refilling the supplies, his words stopped. His eyes widened like a deer in headlights—which was exactly how he felt, given the way Khan described the expression to him before.

“Oh, Kirk, there you are. I want to speak to you about—,”

Kirk bolted, dropping his notes and fleeing down the hall without thinking. Khan watched him with a mildly annoyed yet entertained expression, while the other human gaped, turning to Khan in fear of being punished for the other slave’s disobedience.

“—going to the city, if you’re up to it. Clearly, he’s not.” He remarked, finishing the sentence to himself. He sighed, then chuckled to himself as he put his hands on his hips. Shaking his head, he decided to go after the startled pet before it caused any trouble.

Kirk ran until his lungs seared, until the need to flee fell away and he was able to rest against the wall, hand over his heart. He bent forward, clutching his leg as he took deep breaths to steady himself. He wasn’t sure why he ran. Actually he was, he just didn’t know why he could no longer control the urge around Khan. He was doing so well, and now he would be punished when caught. _If_ caught. He could leave now, escape before it was too late.

No, it was already too late. How long had it been? Long enough.

Another mistake, a spiral downwards into a never-ending nightmare. Khan would be pissed at him for running like that, for avoiding him all day, for not acting like a proper pet after a confession of love. No, that was just a bad dream, not reality. If he convinced himself of it, maybe Khan would finally see the damage he was causing.

“Was that really necessary?” Khan asked drily when he caught up.

Kirk jumped and calmed himself down again. “S-sorry I just…you scared me…I…”

“When do I _not_ scare you? Honestly Jim, this is getting out of hand. You need to deal with your feelings and just accept them.”

The former Captain perked up at the sound of his first name. It had been a while since he heard it, it felt so nice. But this was Khan, it shouldn’t be good to hear his name roll off the man’s tongue. “Accept them.” He repeated, mind grasping onto another part of the conversation.

“Yes, it will make both of our lives much easier.”

“What about your feelings?” Kirk asked, steady now and moving off the wall. Curious, desperate, needing to hear those three words.

“I’m perfectly comfortable with the way I feel.”

“Which is?” Kirk asked, stepping forward. Not once did Khan admit his own feelings to him, nor indicate any emotion besides lust or anger. Kirk wanted to know, he wanted Khan to say what he was made to say last night. If he was going to accept it, he would need a confession from the man.

“Not your concern.” Khan enunciated each word, his tone and expression dangerous.

Kirk dipped his head but continued. “With all due respect…sir…I think it is.” Khan glared at him. He kept his head down so as not to provoke his wrath, but felt the smoldering heat from the man’s anger seething beneath the surface of his skin. It was only fair, after all, for Khan to be in the same position.

“I want you to remember something.” Khan began in a growl, approaching.

“I know, I know.” Kirk sighed, already seeing where this was going. “I’m the slave, the pet. You’re the master. I have no right to demand anything from you, not lenience, not respect, not even love. I get it.” He ran his hands through his hair. “It would just be nice to know instead of always second-guessing.” Now it was his turn to play games. He was rusty, and never very good at it to begin with, but maybe he could coerce Khan into sharing his feelings. Khan narrowed his eyes in response. Maybe not.

Then again, admitting he loved Kirk would put him at a disadvantage, would make them equals in that respect and give Kirk knowledge to use against him. If he lied, he could see what Kirk did with the information, how far he took it. Instead he decided to tell the truth. “You are correct. You are the slave, I the master, and you have no right to demand anything. If I loved you, it would be different.”

_Hold your head up (moving on), keep your head up (moving on)_

* * *

Kirk couldn't sleep, tossing and turning once again. He sighed before getting up, trudging into the living room to sit on the couch, head in his hands.

A few minutes later Khan entered the room. “Can’t sleep?” Kirk shook his head in response. "Is that my sweater?"

Kirk looked down at what he was wearing and realized he must have randomly picked the jacket up off the ground. "Yeah, I found it. It's warm." Comforting in the way it smelled of his master’s scent.

Khan put an arm around Kirk, brushing fingers through his hair. After a moment he asked, "Do you like it when I touch you?" Kirk hesitated. "I won't punish you for being truthful, though I might if you lie."

"It's...weird. I remember you, and it feels wrong to like it." Kirk finally replied in a hoarse voice.

"But do you?"

Hesitantly, Kirk answered. "Yes. But I don't want to. I don't like the fact that I like it."

"You didn't feel that way at first."

"It was different and I didn't know any better."

"But now you do. Is it because of Te—," Khan began.

"Please don't say it." Kirk whispered, closing his eyes, body tensing.

"It won't make any difference." Khan replied in a softer tone.

"Why?"

Khan swiveled toward him, brushing their knees together. "You want to know the truth?" His voice changed, reminding Kirk of their talks on the _Enterprise_ separated by glass.

"Yes."

"All part of the plan. Revenge. I wanted to make you into my perfect little pet."

It was exactly what Kirk expected, so he didn’t bother acting surprised. "And then what?"

"What do you think?"

"I mean, will you keep me here forever? Or will you take me back to my crew, rub it in their faces." He mumbled. Trying to decide which outcome was preferable pained him. Never seeing his crew—his friends—again, or seeing their faces when they realized how far gone he was under Khan’s control?

Khan pursed his lips, placing a hand on the top of the couch as he leaned in. Waiting for the right time and place to mention it, he figured it was now or never. "Kirk, your crew is dead. I killed them when you were with your first owner."

Kirk’s eyes widened as he leaned away. He refused to look at the man beside him. "No." he croaked. His mind refused to accept Khan’s words and what they meant: his crew was lost to him ever since he became a slave.

"Yes." Khan hissed. He watched his pet closely for a reaction.

"You're just saying that." He shook his head, wrung his hands, refusing to believe the words. He wasn’t going to entertain the notion that Khan might be telling the truth. He couldn’t. Tears pooled in the corners of his eyes and slid down his cheek.

"It's the truth. Why do you think I never let you leave?"

Kirk jumped up, shouting and clenching his fists, "But your crew is alive! At least they were when Spock sent those torpedoes!" So why would Khan take the lives of the only people he truly cared about? He was shaking, unable to control his emotions any longer. Fear, hatred, confusion, sorrow, and a complete sense of loss filled him to the breaking point.

"I told you: revenge." Khan answered calmly, standing slowly. Kirk continued shaking his head, backing up with each step Khan took toward him, holding his hand out. He hit the wall, nowhere else to go. Crying, he slid down, knees bent, taking his head in his hands to block out the rest of what Khan would try to say.

Khan sank down in front of him, feeling like himself again after such a long time of pretending to be sincere, and pulled Kirk’s head up to lock eyes. "You should go back to sleep." He ordered in a low, commanding voice. A flashback of being on the _Vengeance_ , hands on Marcus’s head as he spoke similar words, went through both of their minds. After a moment he stood, reaching down for his pet. Kirk had no choice but to accept the hand offered, gripping the forearm as he was lifted to his feet. Khan took him back to their room, tugging him down on the bed and pulling Kirk close. The former Captain, defeated, buried his face in Khan’s chest and wept, gasping for breath and trembling as he gripped Khan’s shirt tightly. Khan put his chin on Kirk’s head, rubbing his back.

He smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Yes, I’m ending it there. Yes, I know I’m a horrible monster. No, I do not regret my life choices up until this point. Okay, enough melodrama, thanks for reading and please let me know what you really think in a review, please! Worry not, the awkward tension between Khan and Kirk in this chapter alone has inspired an offshoot side-story called Moments with Master which should be coming out soon. It’ll be lighter, funny, and hella awkward. Feel free to send me any suggestions! Peace~


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